This is going to be a special episode, as I’ll be sharing my journey of overcoming trichotillomania. So if you ever wondered how it went for me, the struggles I went through, and how I managed to control this condition effectively, then you probably find this an interesting episode.

Let’s get started. I will try to answer my most frequently asked questions in this podcast. 

First, I want to talk to you about the question: ‘’When did trichotillomania start?’’

This is actually an interesting and challenging question for us trichsters to answer. Because when you notice something, that you pull your hair, you can assume that it has been happening for a few years already. By the time you realize, 'Oh, I'm touching my hair,' chances are high that it has been going on for a while, right. It gradually builds up.

So to answer the question when trichotillomania started for me, I often say around 14, as this is when I really noticed myself suffering from it, but it was probably already happening earlier. Maybe in a very mild form, but it has been building up. I even remember playing with my hair during primary school, whenever I was bored, stressed, or anxious. So maybe these were one of the first signs that I had a vulnerability for it. 

Trichotillomania can be sneaky, right? Did it for you also build up gradually, or was it like BOOM you were pulling your hair? It can be different for a lot of people. But what’s for sure is that you won’t be bald immediately. It has a compounding effect.

I always say that I’ve been suffering from trich over 8 years, mostly in between 14-22. Around the age of 20, I found out it was trichotillomania. So I didn’t know I had it for many years. And you can’t really blame yourself for it. It’s such a complex disorder, and no one else around you recognizes what it is, right. Once you really start to question yourself and start to do research online, or maybe you come across a post on social media if you’re lucky, then you finally know that it is trichotillomania.

And this brings me to the second question: ‘’How did you know it was trichotillomania?’’

This was when I once really started to question myself, because I figured I could never stop pulling my hair. I was so done with it. I told myself countless times to just stop pulling, and even my family said so. But I never could.

It started to feel like something outside of me, as if I couldn’t have control over it anymore, with often feeling helpless and depressed about the situation. But it was when I really started to question myself, about what was going on and why I couldn’t stop, that I figured it was trichotillomania.

And once I knew it was trichotillomania, my search for answers began. I was driven by the scientific data behind it, and through this continuous search, I really started to realize that it was a condition and not a strange habit. 

I also get the question sometimes: ‘’How did your family react?’’

Nothing special really. They were more like okay it’s trichotillomania, and moved on with their lives. They also kept on saying things such as just stop pulling. But that really doesn’t work of course. So in short, how they reacted was not very special. More like acknowledging it, raising their eyebrows about how weird the name sounds, and then they moved on with their lives.

And this is also why so many people feel isolated and alone. Because when no one around you, even in your family, doesn't really understand what it is or how they can help, then it can feel like a lonely struggle. 

The next question I’m going to answer, is: ‘’How did you improve with trichotillomania? Or how did you manage to pull less?’’

Well, after diving as deeply into it as possible, I figured that there are actual logical processes that happen. What do I mean by this? 

People with trichotillomania are often more sensitive and struggle with managing certain emotions. And this is why they develop a coping mechanism to release this, in the form of pulling hair. I’m a sensitive person myself, too. And now I know how to better deal with emotions and situations, but before all kinds of situations, actions, or words could really get to me.

A big role in the amount of stress that we experience, is how we react to these circumstances. So I can actually say that I made it much harder for myself that it needed to be.

What I tried to manage trichotillomania

Anyway, I started experimenting with different methods, most of which didn't work.

• Counseling with a therapist didn't work

• Hypnotherapy didn't work

• Cognitive behavioral therapy on its own didn't work either.

And that's when I came to the conclusion that I shouldn't try to find a single solution. Since then, I've been dissecting my life and looking for triggers, and connecting logical interventions to them. At the same time, I thoroughly changed my lifestyle, because environmental factors are just as important as psychological factors.

And with environmental factors, I mean everything around you. For me, it was things such as my parents and toxic environment or what I did for movement. Also, career choices and coping with an upcoming exam also affect me. Many things could. I don’t function well in a negative environment with stressful people.

And when it comes to movement, movement itself doesn't affect trich, but exercising leads to lower stress levels and provides an outlet. It indirectly contributes.

It’s the same as eating plant-based food or more plant-based food to stimulate blood flow, which stimulates hair regrowth. And blood flow is essential to stimulate hair regrowth. And an improved circulatory system also helps to remove waste products more quickly, reducing things like headaches. And headaches can contribute to a feeling of stress, which leads to a feeling of stress release. So it’s like result on result on result. So many things can trigger trichotillomania. I could write a book on this.

The cause of trichotillomania

There are many things attached to trich:

• There is a genetic component, so biological factors

• Psychological factors

• Environmental factors

These can vary, and are  the same for everyone. It can be a mix, but I do believe that those three are always present to a certain degree.

But if you seek a solution in just one aspect, one small piece of the problem, you can't expect to have lasting control in most cases. Of course, there are exceptions and people who wake up one Monday morning and the urge is gone. But the majority of people continue pulling until there's nothing left.

The problem with treating trich is that we treat it like we treat everything in modern medical science. We isolate one thing and use one method to fix it, while there are various factors at play. All those small improvements and life hacks compound, and they make me feel better overall, which significantly reduces the urges.

And then, in case something does happen, I have safeguards in place in the form of interventions to prevent damage. And if you do pull out a hair, first of all, that's okay because you have a condition, so it doesn't mean you're weak or anything.

Secondly, it's important to analyze the situation and look at your awareness and intervention plan, so that you can see what you can change for the future to prevent it. Maybe there was a gap in your awareness and intervention plan. Did you not follow through with an intervention? Was the intervention out of reach? What's the reason it didn't work?

Analyze it, look for areas of improvement, and then let it go. Don't beat yourself up over it. "Oops, I pulled again." Look for areas of improvement and then let it go. It's still a condition. There may be pulling moments where hairs are lost, but it's a condition. Despite that, you may have control over it 99% of the time.

And I’d say I’m over 90% right now.

The next question I’m going to answer, is: ‘’What helped you the most to overcome trichotillomania?’’

Environmental factors, such as lifestyle, play a crucial role. And they did for me.

If your lifestyle is not in order, if you are sleep deprived or dealing with other health issues, it can directly affect your mindset. Poor brain health can create a negative mindset, which can in turn contribute to pulling behaviors.

I believe that the sequence for trichotillomania is something like this: environmental factors > psychological factors > actual pulling behaviors. (> = lead to)

Our thoughts and feelings are a result of what happens outside of us and how we perceive those events.For example, when we are tired, we are more prone to seeking conflict, and we know all too well that sleep deprivation can make us more sensitive to anxious feelings. All these factors can promote pulling behaviors. You can have a strong mindset, but if everything around you is not in alignment, you are fighting against human nature, and that's a battle you can hardly win.

What I also believe, is that:

"If I grew up in a different house and family, the chances of me developing it would have been low."

And here’s some evidence to support this: ever since I moved out of my parents' house, my urges to pull have decreased significantly, by about 80-90%. This was a major step in my self-awareness. I knew that being at home was difficult for me and that I didn't feel at home there, but I only later realized the connection between that environment and my trichotillomania. Once I became extremely self-aware, I realized that the moments when I had the strongest urges to pull were linked to being in that environment. The intervention for me was to terminate or break contact with that environment as much as possible.

That’s the environmental part. It played a huge role in my progress, but I wouldn’t be where I was now if I didn’t build a strong system of awareness and interventions.

Building awareness is KEY

I built awareness on 5 different domains. I empowered myself. I made myself fully believe I could stop and I also reminded myself of the dark side of trich: if I didn’t take action, it could lead to a bald scalp. This might not work for everyone, but I liked to use the ‘’terror image’’. So I frequently looked at a picture of a person who suffered from trichotillomania for a long time, with bald areas or a completely bald head. It showed me that I also had to be desperate about it.

Because the problem with us humans is, that yes, we want something, but we don’t want to put in the work. Everyone wants a healthy relationship, but not everyone wants to put in the work - because a good relationship is constant work right. Or everyone wants to be rich, or be like a certain person, but no one wants to take the same route to get there. 

And we often only take the necessary action when the pain is deep enough, right. When you’re desperate. When you can’t take it anymore and you’re done, you want lasting change.

And that’s what happened to me.

For many years I just thought well, whatever. It’s just a few hairs and I will stop tomorrow. Or tonight. But no, that never worked - unfortunately.

So I changed my diet, my sleep, and my exercise. And I changed my thoughts. And so my actions changed.

I also had a clear why: I didn’t want to surrender to trichotillomania. And once I knew it was a condition, and that many people managed it successfully, I knew I could do this too.

My new journey!

And now I want others to know and do the same.

And this is the moment where I usually bring a summary of the episode, but when it comes to this episode, I don’t have short answers for you.

So, that was it for today’s episode. If you want to get more help and tips to overcome trichotillomania, then make sure to follow this podcast.

If you are looking for a complete toolkit to finally stop pulling your hair, then you can sign up for my program to overcome trichotillomania. It will be live soon.

Share this podcast with others in the community to help me create awareness and reach more people. I wish you much strength on your journey, and I hope you have an amazing day.