Today, we’re going to talk about 7 signs that show you that you have trichotillomania. So if you’re not certain if you have this condition, or you just want to learn more about the signs, then stay with me here. 

On my Instagram, I created a guide some time ago to help people understand if they suffer from trichotillomania. I came up with these signs based on my own experience with trichotillomania, and I believe they are pretty accurate. I’m curious if you agree with me after you listened to this episode. Also, I’d love to hear your thoughts on these signs. You can always message me on hairpullingmentor on Instagram.

So, let’s dive deeper into these signs. That’s why I love a podcast: I can go much deeper than on Instagram for instance.

Recurrent and irresistible urges to pull your hair

The first sign is that you have recurrent and irresistible urges to pull your hair. Whether this is from your scalp, eyebrows, lashes, or even body hairs. And this is one of the key signs. I like to compare this with having an itchy that just won’t go away. But in this case, it’s an overwhelming urge to pull your hair. It feels almost impossible to resist the urge, as if it’s a magnetic force drawing your fingers towards your strands. 

If you’re someone who pulls from your head, I would like to note here that you don’t necessarily pull your hair out from the scalp when you have trichotillomania. You can also have trichotillomania when you pull midway, for instance. And what’s interesting is that there are often accumulating steps in the development of trichotillomania.

For me, it started as playing with my hair. Seeking split ends. And cutting or breaking my hair. Then, the twirling led to pulling, and as this felt satisfying and gave me relief to also feel the tension on my scalp, I eventually started pulling my hair out.

Not always immediately though. I could pull the same hair multiple times, bringing tension to the scalp, till the point that the hair gave up like: ‘’Yeah, I can’t stick to your scalp forever if you keep pulling me.’’, and I pulled it out. Does that make sense?

So, when you have recurrent and irresistible urges to pull your hair, it also means that the urges can come up any moment. Say, when you’re in a conversation with a friend, or someone else, or when you’re calling someone, when you’re watching TV, when you’re in the car with someone else driving, when you travel, when a toxic person texts you and it immediately raises your stress levels, etc. It can also be that there doesn’t seem a specific reason for it or that you simply experience boredom or have idle hands. The urges keep coming back, and they feel irresistible. 

An increase in hair pulling during certain times

The second sign that you have trichotillomania, is an increase in hair pulling during certain times. Maybe you’re one of the few people with no noticeable patterns, but as most of us use the pulling as a coping mechanism, the urges to pull tend to increase during specific situations or periods. Maybe you find yourself pulling more when you’re stressed, anxious, or bored. It’s like your hair becomes a target for dealing with life, right. Or those pent-up emotions, where it offers a temporary release from the discomfort you may be feeling. 

Shame, embarrassment or guilt

The third sign that you have trichotillomania, is that you experience some sort of shame, embarrassment, or guilt. There are rare cases of people with trichotillomania who don’t really experience them all, but what I believe is that when you really want to stop pulling, you will at some point in your journey feel guilty or bad about yourself. You see all the hairs you lose. You start to notice thin areas. Or bald spots are coming up. 

You might even feel disappointed with yourself, because you tried to stop many times and you can’t - and that’s also a big reason why it can hurt our self-esteem: not only it could bring physical changes, it can also have a huge impact mentally. 

Our confidence grows when we have positive experiences, after we accomplish the things we were afraid to do or seemed difficult. But when you, again and again, can’t seem to stop pulling your hair, well, yeah. How can you grow confidence from that? I’m not saying it’s impossible, I’m just saying that it’s very understandable that trichotillomania hurts your self-esteem.

And, many of us have a constant worry of how others might perceive us. Or that when the wind blows our bald spots will come up and ‘’Oh no, I hope they won’t notice it’’. When you have trich, you know like no other how it can impact your feeling of freedom. Of doing all the things you want to do without even having to worry about your hair. Or that the pulling itself doesn’t keep you stuck.

It gets you into a ‘’trance mode’’ or a vicious cycle 

And this brings me to the next reason: trichotillomania gets you into a ‘’trance mode’’ or a vicious cycle. This is also where guilt joins in. Let me explain this to you. With a trance mode, I mean that it;s’like being in a focused mental state where pulling your hair feels like the only thing you can do at that moment. It’s hard to do other things, you’re stuck to the behavior of pulling. It’s almost like being in a different world where nothing else matters except the act of pulling. It’s a way to escape from negative emotions, stress, or other unpleasant experiences, too. But this trance mode can also create a vicious cycle.

This cycle begins with triggers or cues that prompt the hair pulling behavior. And these triggers are different for everyone. But there’s something that activates the pulling - even if you don’t know clearly what it is yet or all the times. It can be stress, anxiety, negative emotions, or just experiencing a certain texture on your scalp. So, something leads you to get an urge to pull. When this urge arises, entering the trance mode becomes a way for you to fulfill that urge and experience temporary relief or pleasure. But as the cycle continues, the relief and pleasure that you get reinforce the behavior, making it more likely to happen again in the future. 

Or, what also reinforces it, is the amount of stress and guilt you experience after the pulling episodes. And what do these feelings do? Exactly. They can lead you to more pulling because you have to deal with the result, and then you enter the cycle and then you have to deal with another result and lost hairs etc. 

This is also why it’s so hard to break this pulling cycle.

It gives you a sense of relief or pleasure

The fifth sign is that it gives you a sense of relief or pleasure. I already mentioned that before, but I want to emphasize it again separately. When you pull your hair, whether it’s pulling it out from the scalp or pulling it mid way, your eyebrows, eyelashes, or body hair, it can feel as if a weight has been lifted. You get a sensation of satisfaction or relief. So I can be really short here: it just feels nice to do it in the moment, right. There’s no one with trichotillomania who doesn’t like to feel and pull their hair. If you don’t, you don’t like it because of the results that it can give. Or because the behavior looks silly. Or because it kills your time. But you like to touch and pull somehow. It’s a form of self-harm, but at the same time, the craving for relief or pleasure feeds the behavior.

You can’t stop pulling hair

The sixth sign is that you simply can’t stop pulling your hair. I’m not saying that it’s impossible to stop, and if you follow me for a longer time, you know that there’s a way out and that trichotillomania is truly manageable. I experienced this in my journey of overcoming trich, so why couldn’t it be true for you? Yes, our journeys are all different. What worked for me, could help you, but it can also be that you need to add in some other strategies that align with your needs, goals, and life. 

Trichotillomania feels beyond your control, right. No matter how much you may desire to stop pulling your hair, it seems to have a grip on you. It’s like an automatic response. It’s challenging to break. That’s why you can’t say: well, I will stop pulling my hair from now on. Or tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month. You can’t stop overnight. You have built pathways in your brain over the years, which are so strongly wired (and this is why the behavior happens subconsciously too), so how can you expect them to suddenly be gone?

That’s also why one of the most common unhelpful things to say to someone with trichotillomania is to ‘’just stop pulling’’ never works.

Overcoming trichotillomania is a personal journey, not a race towards a finish line. The process of overcoming trich is unique for everyone and should not be rushed or compared to others. I hope this shows the importance of taking the time and effort needed for this personal growth and recovery. Measure your progress by your personal milestones and wins and self-improvement, rather than a strict timeline or external expectations. 

You notice changes in your appearance

The seventh sign is that you notice changes in your appearance. And this is a tricky one. Because the issue is that we’re often not aware of the damage that it can lead to long-term. No one starts with bald areas. It slowly builds up over time. So this sign only applies when you suffer from trichotillomania long enough or intensely enough, that you may observe thinning hair, bald spots, or uneven patches where hair once grew. You’re missing lashes or eyebrows. 

And I know that these changes can stress us out, make us feel embarrassed, makes us feel less free to do whatever it is we want to do, and constantly remind us whenever we look in the mirror of our struggles with trichotillomania.

My conclusion: trichotillomania is horrible. 

And you probably agree. And the good news: it is truly manageable. 

But being aware of what it is that you have, is a huge step in your healing journey. I didn’t know for about 6 years that I had trichotillomania. Maybe you didn’t know it for tens of years. But when you know you do, and that it’s a condition, your whole attitude can change. And you know you need to take steps to overcome this challenge.

We all get challenges in life. And trichotillomania is yours. But imagine if you overcome this challenge. What’s something you can’t face? Whisper: it can also be your superpower.

So, these are the 7 signs of when you have trichotillomania:

1. Recurrent and irresistible urges to pull your hair.

2. An increase in hair pulling during certain times.

3. Shame or embarrassment.

4. It gets you into a 'trance mode'.

5. It gives you a sense of relief or pleasure.

6. You can't stop.

7. You notice changes in your appearance.